Cleanliness

L spent the latter half of his spring break solo with dad in a cabin. Here’s something that I think is basically true (with exceptions, of course). When the fellas are hanging out with other fellas, they ingest only cured meat products, their mouths clamp shut if faced with a vegetable or a fruit, and they forgo bathing at all costs.

I suppose a mother should expect such things. I can only hope we’ve averted scurvy.

To that, soapy, warm, clean L.

floating head

Awkward or Dear?

L had a buddy hang out for a few days during his spring break. I had to leave early and drove his buddy home from our Spring Break casa. Hugs were exchanged by all.

L hugged his buddy and said, “I love you.”

Buddy: Hmmm… mmmkay.

L: “I, uh, love you like a brother. You know, I like/love you.”

Buddy: Yup.

L: “Or, you know, I think you’re great and thank you for coming.”

Buddy: Me, too.

PAUSE

L: “Awkward?”

 

Change Is Hard

Dad is transitioning to a new job. That and a hard drive failure (#@$##@!!), equals plenty of change (and silence).

L to Dad: “Why are you leaving your company?”

D: Because someone else thinks I’ll be great.

[SIDEBAR: This work move does not entail a physical move for L. It means Dad will work closer to home. Better commute. Better benefits. Exponentially better life.]

L: But what about your old company? What will they do?

D: They’ll be fine.

L: Dad, sometimes work isn’t about the money or fame or power. It’s about love and family and friends. Please don’t turn your back on them.

D: (silence)

L: Dad, do you understand the implications of what you’re doing?

D: Yes, I do. And sometimes when your teacher or your friend or your boss doesn’t think you’re doing a great job, you need to find another situation.

L: I hope you’re making a good decision.

D: I think I’m making a great decision. And I’ll keep everything you said in mind.

Early Onset Teenager (EOT) Averted

Just as L began talking about his many conquests (the holding hands, pulling hair variety), this morning he asked where all of his stuffies had gone.

L: “Do we still have Stingy and Sharky and Woofy?”

M: “I think we do.”

Pan to the bed where Sammy the ice-cream sandwich, Bully the bulldog, Ali the albino alligator, and the above are now resting.

There is a reason we don’t throw everything away. The purple blanket he’s slept with from his first breath is still accessible in a heartbeat. Especially because I have it in triplicate.

Can never be too prepared for age eight or eighteen.

Stuffies

Past Tense, or “She’s So Fine”

Had a flashback this morning.

The Setting: Oscar broadcast, 2005 (I think).

The Presenter: Salma Hayek. I believe L is on the verge of walking, is still sporting diapers, and is quite mobile.

He crawls/scootches/drags himself to the television set, hoists himself up and plants a giant, wet, all-in kiss on Miss Hayek while she’s trilling about “Best….”

STOP

Did my unsullied, innocent cherub just French Salma Hayek?

Why, yes. Yes he did. (Good taste.)

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Forwards and Backward

L: “Hey mom, what’s a paylindroh er…?”

M: A palindrome is a word, or a series of words, you know, a sequence, whose meaning is the same going either direction, forwards or backwards.

L: “Can you give me an example?”

M: Yeah, sure. I used to play around with them all the time. Right now, I’m sorta struggling to come up with anything. Oh wait, POOP. P-O-O-P, same word forwards and backwards.

L: (Pause.)      “Or maybe ‘lion oil?’

M: (Spoken in garbled, barely audible flat voice) Yeah, that works. So does poop.

Show off.

 

 

Doubts

There are moments, okay, hours, if not weeks, when I wonder if L wasn’t switched at birth.

Case-in-point:

M: “Did you make your bed?”

L: “Yup.”

M: “Brush your teeth?”

L: “Yup.”

M: “Sing Rihanna’s new song really loudly without knowing any of the words?”

L: “Nope.”

That last one makes me wonder. Because the order in which I would do my chores would definitely start with singing. And, if I ever made my bed when I was a kid, it bore no resemblance to this tidy bit of work.

(Are the stripes of the blankets actually ALIGNING?!)

YourBed