To continue, dad calls to say he’s on his way. L picks up.
L: “Dad, I need you to be very sensitive to mom. If you start to see her eyes start to water, it’s because she had a difficult day. And you really love your wife, so let’s try to be very sensitive to her.”
D: “Yes, I do love my wife.”
First Grade Girl: “What type of mascara does L use?”
Me: “He doesn’t wear any mascara.”
FGG: “Then how do you explain those eyelashes?”
Me: “He stood in line twice for those.”
2008 again
I picked up L from preschool today and there was a note from the director saying “please see me.” ZOiNKS! I approached her with trepidation and said, “okay, so what’s up?” She asked me if I could volunteer for an art project on Friday. The relief that I felt was immeasurable. I actually said aloud, “Oh, thank GOD. I thought L had injured a kitten or something.”
Hurt kitten jokes are a laugh a minute, especially at a preschool. At least I didn’t mention a burlap sack.
My Kid Wears A Gas Mask 