Today is “Crazy Hair Day” at L’s school. Done and done.
Category Archives: Humor
Cleanliness
L spent the latter half of his spring break solo with dad in a cabin. Here’s something that I think is basically true (with exceptions, of course). When the fellas are hanging out with other fellas, they ingest only cured meat products, their mouths clamp shut if faced with a vegetable or a fruit, and they forgo bathing at all costs.
I suppose a mother should expect such things. I can only hope we’ve averted scurvy.
To that, soapy, warm, clean L.
Two Lips
Awkward or Dear?
L had a buddy hang out for a few days during his spring break. I had to leave early and drove his buddy home from our Spring Break casa. Hugs were exchanged by all.
L hugged his buddy and said, “I love you.”
Buddy: Hmmm… mmmkay.
L: “I, uh, love you like a brother. You know, I like/love you.”
Buddy: Yup.
L: “Or, you know, I think you’re great and thank you for coming.”
Buddy: Me, too.
PAUSE
L: “Awkward?”
Eight or 18?
Some ramblings from last night:
L: “I think L and I broke up. I think we’re better as friends.”
M: “You broke up? Broke up from what? What do you mean?”
L: “Well, she was crushing pretty hard on me and I really like her, but in the end, I think we’ll be friends.”
M: (Aghast.)
L: “So now, I’m thinking about C only I think she likes V and I’m not sure I’ll get anywhere with that.”
M: “Where is ‘anywhere?'”
L: “You know, when you like someone. LIKE like.”
M: “I think you and dad are going to have that talk sooner rather than later.”
L: “Oh, gross. Do we have to?”
Past Tense, or “She’s So Fine”
Had a flashback this morning.
The Setting: Oscar broadcast, 2005 (I think).
The Presenter: Salma Hayek. I believe L is on the verge of walking, is still sporting diapers, and is quite mobile.
He crawls/scootches/drags himself to the television set, hoists himself up and plants a giant, wet, all-in kiss on Miss Hayek while she’s trilling about “Best….”
STOP
Did my unsullied, innocent cherub just French Salma Hayek?
Why, yes. Yes he did. (Good taste.)
Hair Fun
The devil is in the details. Or the bath.
About Those Birds
In the spirit of pantsing, I began tossing chunks of bread L’s way. The gulls followed and swarmed. L is simultaneously laughing and screaming, but mostly laughing.
L: “Mom, I think you’re crossing a line.”
M: “Probably.”
And then…
He awoke from his trance, happy and slappy. Someone is feeling good.
(If this were a video, you’d see the hand slicking back the hair and you’d hear “oh yeah, this is workin'”).
New Kicks
Vans fan.
My Kid Wears A Gas Mask 