L: “Mom, I love you.” (Long, plaintive stare. He’s practicing his come hither look.)

Pause.

M: I’ll bet you say that to all the girls.

L: “No, that’s gross. I don’t say that to all of the girls. I’ve never said that to any other girl. Because if I said it to all the girls, I’d be sorta skeevy and everyone would think I was trying to get attention and I’m not. Besides if I said that to everyone, all the time, I don’t think it would mean as much. In fact, it might not mean anything if I said it to everyone.”

Pause.

M: I love you, too.